self-embodiment of perfection

I just got into and out of a relationship in like a week, and it had me reflecting on the men in my past. For this exercise, I picked any man who had a significant impact on me and wrote them all letters, going into detail about what happened and how it impacted me. I changed everyone's name except Corey's because I think he's the only one who I have mentioned by name on Threads. Raphael: I was so enamored by you when we met. However, you were married, and that would continue to be a thread that was pulled throughout our entire "relationship." We did "date", however legitimate or illegitimate it was with your marriage, but it was pretty short-lived. Less than a year. You lied to me a lot, but I didn't care. I was caught up in the fantasy--you were hot and you could sing and play guitar. What else does a girl need? Our relationship was fraught with arguments and fighting. We were never going to last in a long-distance relationship. We both hurt each

Current lock scren Current phone backround Here's some of the highlights of what I've been up to this past 7ish days. -I have a boyfriend now! His name is Corey. We are in an open relationship but I love that he's my main person. He's a nerd who is covered in tattoos related to gaming and cartoons. He has a massive game and movie collection. I met him at board game night a few weeks ago!  Neither of us have been in an open relationship but we have been clear about the parameters and I imagine we will fine-tune it from here. This was something essential to me before making us official. -Therapy is intense lately. I'm triggered a lot. I'm probably not handling it the best but I'm handling it the best way I know how. Drugs, sex, avoidance lol. I'm trying to journal, be honest in therapy, and work on my self-care activities again. -My schedule is always unbelievably full so I'm trying to add back in me time. I book my social calendar to the brim and then

I've been in several long-term relationships. I was engaged to someone from 2012-2014. Then I dated someone else for less than a year after that. From 2016-2018 roughly, I was in another long-term relationship. After that, I dated someone else very briefly. In 2018 I began my most recent relationship, which ended at the beginning of 2024. Along this timeline, I realized I didn't have much chance to be single. I never gave those breakups time to heal before jumping into the next one and throwing myself into the new relationship. So I'm enjoying being single now and really leaning into my individuality and what I want. I want to be firm in the things I want and can't compromise on. I also don't want to jump back into a monogamous relationship too quickly, if ever. I really just want to be sure what I want from a partner, and also, what I don't want. I'm enumerating that below. Things I will not settle for: Someone who tries to control what I do, say, or wear S

 Okay this is a clickbait title lmao. They get a lot of things wrong. The pro-Mahito weirdos on Twitter infantalize him and make him dumb af. Canonically, Mahito is well-read and shows us his capacity for reason, intelligent thought, and manipulation. The anti-Mahito weirdos everywhere else in the world think that Mahito is some psychopath who only exists to kill and he enjoys it--that's his single personality trait. I think both of these are doing a disservice to Mahito and Gege for that matter. He's a well-designed, multi-dimensional character that has a big impact in a short amount of time. I don't think anything about Mahito was meant to be 1-note or just as a service to the bigger plot. I mean he does service the bigger plot and there's some wasted potential there imo but he has layers to his character in between "just born" and "unfeeling psychopath".  Truth is Mahito is childlike sometimes, in his curiosity and ability to have fun. He follows

 I've alluded to this on Threads, but I have some medical conditions that are definitely going to disqualify me from being almost every kind of pilot except private. It's going to disqualify me because an FAA-approved medical examiner (AME) has to give me a physical and mental evaluation before giving me a first, second, or third class medical certificate (I need first class to be an airline pilot). For my specific issues, they result exclusively in either a deferral or denial. There's no scenario where I walk away from the AME approved and with a medical certificate, if I disclose those specific issues. And it looks like, from me pouring over the Guide for Aviation Medical Examiners, that having multiple issues like I do makes it more likely for it to be flat out denied. No airline pilot for me. My original plan was to just lie because there was no real way for them to verify or dig into my past. Except I didn't realize they could take medical records from the VA--with

Like every single person under the sun who is on dating apps, I'm having a blast and everything is going according to plan! Zero complaints. Imagine if it were like that though. Personally, I'm speaking of a gay dating app for women, called HER. I've met some cool people but most of the time they stop responding...or, I admit, I'm the one who stops responding. That can be for trivial reasons, such as me stopping responding to a trans man who was a certified gamer guy...that had never heard of No Man's Sky or Ghost of Tsushima. If you consider yourself a gamer, how have you never even heard of these titles? They're massively popular. I might also stop talking to someone if they only answer my questions with short answers and then, also, never ask me about myself. I'm very full of myself--get with the program. There were two women in particular that I thought I was going to have a connection with. People that I started talking to off the app. Okay there's

 No, these things have nothing to do with each other. I just want to write a little bit about each other. God, if only there were some cool platform I could post micro thoughts to that would become addictive to the point of irritation when my posts only get 4 likes. Oh well. Eureka Seven This is my youngest brother's favorite anime. He's been gently recommending it (read: harassing me) for over 2 years to watch it, since I started watching anime. The problem was I saw Gurren Lagann first and, while I love that anime, I realized I don't like mecha anime in general. So I was more than hesitant to watch Eureka Seven. But I am currently making my way through and I have just a few, simple questions: 1) What the hell is even going on? Why are they so vague about every single thing? 2) I don't know anyone's name on the Federation's ship. Who even is anybody? There's that snooty advisor brat from military headquarters. There's the cucked commander. There's A