self-embodiment of perfection

Things have been chaotic, unfocused, and straight up embarrassing for the past 2 months. My dating and love life, work, physical health, mental health--all have been either neglected or incredibly affected by my actions. I'm making decisions I'm not proud of, feel unsure of who I am, and I've hurt 3 people, at least, in the process. I don't feel good right now and it's entirely my fault.  I am confused about my direction and next steps. I know things that I need to do to better myself, but I'm unable to do them. I feel disconnected from who I am and what my values are. So here's what I think I need to do; execution and implementation are another conversation: get back to therapy daily journaling work on self-esteem put my hobbies and interests first prioritize time with friends start going to the gym work on focus and attention, especially for work get back in touch with my values This is not a comprehensive list but it's a good start.  To be honest, I j

I just got into and out of a relationship in like a week, and it had me reflecting on the men in my past. For this exercise, I picked any man who had a significant impact on me and wrote them all letters, going into detail about what happened and how it impacted me. I changed everyone's name except Corey's because I think he's the only one who I have mentioned by name on Threads. Raphael: I was so enamored by you when we met. However, you were married, and that would continue to be a thread that was pulled throughout our entire "relationship." We did "date", however legitimate or illegitimate it was with your marriage, but it was pretty short-lived. Less than a year. You lied to me a lot, but I didn't care. I was caught up in the fantasy--you were hot and you could sing and play guitar. What else does a girl need? Our relationship was fraught with arguments and fighting. We were never going to last in a long-distance relationship. We both hurt each